Dear The Wife,

Two years ago today you did a very, very silly thing. You went and got so legally entangled with me that to extricate yourself from this situation would literally take 2 lawyers, a judge, three goats, and at least 5 gallons of booze. While I lament the fact that you had to settle on a sad sack like myself, I cannot begin to describe the joy and happiness you have brought to my life every day since we got married (and two or three before that as well). You really could have donea lot better, but I am so glad that you didn’t.

I love you beyond measure and hope that, as our lives unfold, I can find a way to show you how incredibly amazing, beautiful, and important you are. Not just to me (although that’s what I’m mainly concerned with, selfish ass that I am) but to everyone you encounter.

Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for being my partner. Thank you for being my puppy mama. Thank you for being my wife.

Love,

Elijah

Below is a picture of The Wife and Grizzly Adams myself during one of my annual Winter Beard/Scruffy Hair moments. She is clearly not impressed with whatever BS I was just throwing her way.